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Call people up on the phone and tell them you're the President
You reach for the phone to dial people, but it rings before you grab it. You answer, and on the other end, you hear what sounds like a modem. Chuckling to yourself, you wonder what some poor fool is trying to do.
Then, you feel a stabbing pain in your head, and you fall backwards in your chair. You clutch your head and scream, but it doesn't help. Blood oozes out of your ears. Your only consolation is that many presidents have lead healthy and active careers with little to no brain tissue.
Meanwhile a group of Bulmerians are clapping and cheering, knowing their new Assassination-by-phone worked like a charm.