Interior Design
From The Encyclopedia of Pointless
People have the wrong idea about interior design. They think that just by giving a room some new drapes and put a bunch of useless crap on a shelf they can give a room a "personality". Well this is crap. Rooms don't have personality. They don't even have mannerisms. No, no matter how many round bits of styrofoam you paint gold and arrange on an end table you're not going to make the room look any less pathetic than it truly is. There is in fact only one real way to make a room a more attractive and worthwhile place to be, and that's electronics.
Decorating with Electronics
Beginner Basics
- Real interior decorators decorate with electronics. Whether it be a stereo system larger than at least two of the ancient wonders of the world, or wonders of the ancient world, or world wonders of the ancients, or the... well anyway a really big stereo. And, um... a TV too.
- Right. So what I'm trying to say is that electronics are good. If there is a wall large enough to hold a painting there should be a 42" plasma TV drilled into it. If there isn't a computer in the room prehaps one should be added, if not for computing then at least put an Intel chip in it and use it as a space heater.
Advanced Adages
- There is one exception to the Electronics rule, and this is shelves. Shelves are vitally important for holding important items such as Anime, or swords, both of which are not only of a utilitatian function but add much artistic value to a room. Plus a Katana beats a golf club ten to one when a burglar is trying to steal your Anime.
So what all this really boils down to is if every room in your house or place of residence isn't filled with shelves of Anime and electronics you should seriously reconsider your lifestyle. Of course some rooms should have those necessary features that distinguish rooms such as beds, couches, toilets and refrigerators they should all have at least one shelf of Anime and one electronic piece. And this is, mind you, a bare minimum that would be shunned by your nerdy friends. Also, if you don't have any nerdy friends you're beyond reconsidering your lifestyle and should just commit seppuku or hara-kiri at your earliest convenience. And if you don't know what seppuku or hara-kiri is I'll just hunt you down and shoot you soon so don't worry.
| -- Mr. Encyclopedia |
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