404-BurnClothes
From The Encyclopedia of Pointless
There are very few problems in life that can't be solved with a good old fashioned firestorm! You run down to the local gas station, and to your surprise they're having a special where every purchase of a gas can comes with one of those fancy butane lighters for free, you know, the kind with that sharp hot flame that looks like maybe you could even solder some copper pipe together with it.
You fill the can and go home to change clothes. This proves difficult with only one arm, but you manage. You then collect all the things you want to burn, including: your blood soaked adventuring clothes, some junk mail, a five gallon bucket of old motor oil, and that PS3 you bought but never played. You put them in your burn pit and douse them in gasoline. Finally, you light the butane lighter, and toss it down on the pile.
The instant fireball that blasts into being is easily one of the most awesome things you have ever seen, which is cool because it's also the last thing you ever see. In retrospect, it probably wasn't a good idea to be standing so close to the burn pit, but you didn't really expect the bucket of oil to explode like that, or the oil itself to act so much like boiling hot napalm. All you can think in that hideous burning painful instant is how very much you wish you were dead. The gods look down on your plight in pity and decide to grant your request. How nice of them!
You have died.
THE END
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