Pidgeons
From The Encyclopedia of Pointless
"If you feed a pigeon an alka-seltzer, it'll explode, like a small, ticking time bomb!"
That was one of the first things I learned that was of any use to me with these wing'ed rats. Pigeons: the beautiful, innocent statue's worst enemy. Pigeons: a force that seems to constantly be attracted to freshly washed cars. These little feathered wonders have captured the interests of many citybound pedestrians. Unfortunately, on ocassion, they have also caught the lovely sports blazer or the innocent pedestrian, too.
Contents |
Overview
Pigeons are the filthiest things you can find in the city, aside from the rats and the homeless people living in the cardboard boxes at the end of my block. Good ol' Wally. Nice guy. A bit smelly, but nice, none the less. I think he might be able to rival DragonLady, she's pretty cool too. . . of course, she's a man. . . . but ya know, ya take the good with the bad. Come to think of it, homeless people aren't half bad. . .but anyway, back to the pigeons. These little wonders come in all sorts of colors and types. There are many types of pigeons you will find in the city.
Types of Pidgeons you will Find in the City
The Shy Pigeon
- This is the pigeon that you typically see while walking
around a nice suburb. When they catch sight of you, or hear your footsteps hitting the concrete, they immediatly fly away. No harm comes to you, or to the bird.
The Not So Shy Pigeon
- These pigeons are the kind you see the elderly people feeding at the park. They aren't completely afraid of humans, but are still wary of who is coming too close to them. Sometimes small harm can come to the bird, but virtually nothing will happen to the human.
The Really Pushy Aggressive Pigeon
- This is the pigeon you will find in a big, dirty city. They will approach you, and demand food. They will peck at you, and they will land on you. These pigeons are bad news. No harm normally comes to these birds, but there are usually injuries suffered by the human.
The Really Loud Annoying Pigeon Out Your Window
- This one is pretty self-explanitory. This pigeon sits out of your window at 4:00 AM on a Saturday morning and coo until you want to take the Nerf pistol next to your bed and shoot it in its feathered ass. These pigeons sustain injuries but never cause any.
There are the occasional odd-ball pigeons that really don't have a category, but these are the main groupings. So, next time you see a pigeon strutting on your gutter, think twice before you shoo it away, it may have family in the "Really Pushy Aggressive Pigeon" family. No one, and I mean NO ONE, wants to be whacked by pigeons.
| -- PyroCrowLucky13 |
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