Not to Regret
From The Encyclopedia of Pointless
Contents |
Not to regret? That’s a weird title.
Yes, but I feel it fits this little piece quite well. You see, in my life I have prided myself for being sarcastic, rude, and unpleasant in general. To this day I have tried my very hardest to always take the extra step. Do that one extra thing that pushes all the wrong buttons and comes ever so close to getting me in trouble. Usually I make it out okay, but There was one time when I was not so lucky. One time that I can look back on, and say “Dear lord, what the heck was I thinking?”
In this little piece, I will take you all back to that day. That day I chose not to regret, and try to figure out just what the heck went through my mind. Prepare yourself for a journey into the past, to the mysterious childhood of The Encyclopedia of Pointless’s update monkey: Beat.
Plus, it’s the name of a song by Rancid.
Right whatever. Get on with it.
The exact details of the event have become fuzzy with the passing of time, but the stage of this situation can be set by understanding these three important facts.
- A expensive vase owned by my mother was involved
- My father was giving me the marching orders to make sure nothing bad happened to said vase.
- I was a hardcore-stupid pre-teen 12 years in the making.
I am not sure why exactly I had the vase in my possession, but my father was telling me to be super careful because darn it, that vase is very nice and you do stupid things constantly. I could hear in his voice that he valued that vase, and that he would be upset if something were to happen to that vase. Especially so if, say, I caused something to happen to that vase.
Of course, I had to react.
My little tiny mind was running full blast, and not a single freaking intelligent thought was inside of it. I was rebellion! I was poison! I was going to defy this situation as situations had never before been defied! That would fix his little red wagon.
It seemed like such a brilliant idea at the time. I was a fighter, a winner! A champion to my people! And knowing in my heart and soul that I was one bad little invincible pre-teen god incarnate I held the vase high aloft, by its fragile porcelain rim, clutching it only with my thumb and forefinger. The little friction my two digits provided was the only thing between the vase and the hard, unforgiving linoleum. And in my position of power, I issued my stalwart anthem! It was defiance incarnate, a glorious cry for all the world to hear.
“My fingers are slipping!”
My conquest was complete! My awesome power was undeniable! I was the God of this vase, and it was at my mercy! For the first moment in my life, I felt truly alive!
Then my fingers slipped.
The world had been turned upside down! The vase was nothing but a sea of shards scattered over the kitchen floor, and I was quickly denying that I had anything to do with the event. I was prepared to argue passionately that I was in another room, quietly minding my own business. At any rate, I certainly hadn’t intended that the vase suffer such a fate. It was an accident, an event beyond my control, which came about by a series of events that were all completely my fault! You can’t possibly expect me to take the blame for that!
Needless to say, to my 12-year-old mind, the punishment seemed very swift and somewhat unfair. I’ve been reminded of this event at least three times a week, every week, for the last eight years.
And I don’t regret a single moment of it.
That’s it?
Yeah that’s it. A simple slice of my life that I can look back on and smile. A little trip down memory lane that I staunchly refused to learn anything from
You fool! You’ve wasted time for both of us!
I don’t regret that either.
| -- Beat |
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