Night

From The Encyclopedia of Pointless

Night is the time period between dusk and dawn. The general consensus is that it sucks, but under closer examination, we are able to prove that, yes. It does suck.

Not as much as day sucks though! Take that daylight!

why night happens

To understand why night happens, we first must understand why day happens. Disregard all the lies you have heard about some sort of earth spinning on an axis. These are hideous falsehoods perpetrated by filthy disgusting hippies and communists. The truth is far more complicated! And must be described by several separate headers, like the ones immediately below this paragraph! How convenient!

The start of the cycle

Godzilla, seen here whimsically dancing with a giant monkey. It is likely he is doing this for no good reason.

Every day, off of the eastern coast of Japan, the monstrous creature of the deep, Godzilla, uses his fire breath to create a massive fireball, for no obvious reason other than that he feels like it. For hours on end he builds up his gigantic fireball, which he considers a monument to how totally awesome he is. And in truth, he is indeed totally awesome.

Astro boy always saves the day!

Astro Boy demands that you press start.

By the time he is done the fireball is several miles in diameter. Its very existence puts the entire world in peril, and if left as it is, the entire world would be doomed. Fortunately for us, there is a hero for all us humans! A hero named Astro Boy.

As soon as Godzilla finishes his surely lethal fireball, Astro boy cleverly steals it away, and flies it across the sky, giving it the time it needs to burn out before finally extinguishing it off the coast of California. During this journey, the fireball lights up the entire sky, giving us the light we need to get tans and skin cancer. We call this time during which pathetic white people can become marginally darker, and therefore marginally more cool, "Day" and the darkness that surrounds it "night"

Then things get boring and repetitive

Once the fireball has been estinguished, Godzilla, enraged that his hard work has gone to waste, immediately sets about making another gigantic fireball. And the cycle continues.