Interneteese
From The Encyclopedia of Pointless
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| This article disgusts us! Click here to drink deep of its shame! |
From that vast hell known as the internet a language wholly unique has sprung up. Not constrained by any sort of regional area. This article exists in order to help hapless patrons of the internet to understand this strange new tongue.
Because this new language does not necessarily rely on the Phoenician alphabet, we have taken the liberty of creating approximations of all these terms using the English language.
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Elohl
A cursory glance at this term would make it appear to be some sort of statement of mirth, or happiness. However, please consider the following statements that might have been taken directly from somewhere else
“Misogeny lol!” “Hitlerrulz lol!” “Rapelol!”
It’s near constant use with horrifying and terrible things that the general population of decent, good people would never find humorous, leads us instead to believe that it is a sort of cry of condemnation. A way of expressing great dissatisfaction and disapproval with something.
Also, in some cultures, the term is pronounced “lawl” The significance of this is unknown.
Less Than 3
It is difficult to take this phrase at anything less than face value, which is to say that something is less than three. However, in these other possibly authentic examples, we see an unusual pattern emerge.
“Bob <3 kara!1” “We <3 linkin park lol” “Girls <3 jerks :(”
From the above examples, the easy answer would be to say that Bob, we and girls are all simply less than three. However. The content after the three is troublesome. We are aware that some sort of connection is there, we just don’t know what it is!
This will haunt us for years to come.
Ohemge
In the cult of the internet, Ohemge is the only god they know. In tribute to his great cyber-web might, they dedicate all amazing things to his holy name.
“OMG, thas amazing!1” “OMG, its huge!” “so dood I was like shutup and then OMG WOW NO WAY.”
There appears to be a splinter group apart from the main cult, that worships a being known as “Ohomefigee”. The exaxt nature of this new deity remains unknown, but is likely sinister.
Wuteeff
Wuteeff is the name of a relatively new species of marmoset discovered in northern Papule. New Guinea. Because of it’s surprise discovery, it’s name is typically used as an exclamation of shock or disbelief. A rather profane and crude statement of shock or disbelief at that, but the internet was not built on good taste. No, the internet was built on things you need to be 18, and have a legitimate credit card to access. Sad but true.
OKBYE
We hope you have enjoyed this introduction to the wonderful world of semi-forign language. Just keep practicing, and in no time at all you’ll be reading and fully understanding crap like this.
“OMG d00d I wuz like HAY WTF &hewus like STFU LOLOL!!!1”
Not that you want to, of course.
| -- Beat |
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