Girls are Pretty

From The Encyclopedia of Pointless

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Rip Off a Successful Website's Shtick Day!

Girls are Pretty is a clever and successful site, so you'll ask yourself why can't yours be? It's not fair, you'll think, you've been working at it for years and years and here is this other site that's been around for practically half the time and it's amazing and clever and gets Lord knows how many hits per day. So you'll do the only thing that seems natural, you'll rip off the entire thing, right down to the "holiday" gimmick. It's not surprising when soon after you'll be called on it.

"C'mon, man!" you buddy will say, "This is ridiculous. Did you think you'd get away with it? You just posted a link to the site on the message board. Everyone knows you're wild about Girls are Pretty, and now here you are doing the exact same thing? What happened to that old creative spark you had?"

"I got drunk!" you will slur dramatically, shaking the half-empty bottle of whiskey at him as if he needs a visual aid. You'll both know your current drunkenness has nothing to do with your lack of creativity, but only he will be sober enough to understand it. "Maybe," you'll continue, "maybe if you guy'd, maybe if you, maybe if YOU," you'll poke him in the chest with the bottle to emphasize the capitalized words, "if YOU would GET off your lazy BUTT, maybe if you'd, if, if you'd," your train of thought goes trailing off a ravine and your drunken tirade peters out.

"Dude," he says, "You're not even writing like Girls are Pretty any more. You're pathetic."

"Don't get all meta on me!" you shout, "And don't critique my writing AS I'M DOING IT."

"Trains of thought trailing off ravines? Girls are Pretty doesn't use weird ham-fisted metaphors. They just stick to straightforward cynical wry prose. Hell, you're not writing in the right tense anymore. Girls are Pretty is in future tense."

You collapse to you knees and start sobbing. "I can't even rip off people right." you say between the sobs.

Your buddy pats you on the shoulder and says comforting things. What you don't know until it's too late is he's also holding a knife.

"Girls are Pretty also doesn't resort to sudden and unexpected acts of extreme violence," he explains as he repeatedly buries the blade in your back, "Well, at least not often."

Happy Rip Off a Successful Website's Shtick Day!