Elite Council of Pointless
From The Encyclopedia of Pointless
Contents |
Elite Council of What Now?
Elite council of Pointless, that’s what. Now. Back in the olden days, it was a title conferred to those who had a special dedication to the site, or at least enough to spend a few minutes every now and then tossing ideas together for the construction of a humorous article.
But How?
It all began long ago during the crucible of creation. Four terrible creatures were wrought from the nothingness, combination of common matter, and the essence of pointlessness itself. The universe was not ready for these kinds of advanced life-forms, so they were suspended in a sea of un-time until around 20+ years or so ago. At which point they were brought into the world as humans. Except the one the great ones refer to as “Jim.” He was born as a dweller of the sea floor, and recently made a delicious dish of calamari.
Unfortunately, these super beings, drawn towards pure pointlessness, all became hippies and commies. So we took over. Stupid hippies.
Any Defining Characteristics?
Councilmembers are drawn, as a moth is to flame, to things we find lacking in useful purpose. We generally tend to write words about such things, resulting in things that could be anything from spiteful, to informative, to just plain crazy awesome. We are, for the most part prepared to suffer for our art. We try to be nonpartisan, but we’re not claiming perfection.
So who’s on this council Thingamajig?
We’re glad you asked that. And if you didn’t ask that, then somebody else did. And if it turns out that nobody did, Then I’m hearing voices again. Which is really nothing special at this point.
Chief Elite Officer
The founding father of the Encyclopedia of pointless, who created all you see here selflessly and benevolently. In times long past, he wrote over a hundred articles for the Encyclopedia, then trashed them, and started over simply because he could.
Senior Elite Councilmembers
Goes by many names, but usually referred to as “Andose.” It is said that he knows anything and can do anything. Only uncool losers disagree. He is the sole winner of the gir badge.
Renowned the world over as a total jerk, Beat is egomaniacal, loudmouthed, and rude in general. He spends most of his time between his three passions: teasing children until they cry, trying to gain membership to one of the Secret Societies that Rule the World, and disliking activists. He serves the purpose of scaring away any decent or sane people that might come to the Encyclopedia of Pointless. As such it could be said that he is kept around simply because he is Antisocial. He also listens to too much punk rock.
Apparently some kind of girl. Speaks two languages and hails from a strange and possibly magical place known to us only as Canada. We theorize that she can observe all quantum possibilities at once. We are most likely wrong.
Elite Council
Recently completed his masterpiece, Void lives in his stately manor, overlooking the small burg in the valley below. He takes a puff on his pipe, and looks out the cold glass of the window below, pondering the myriad of curiosities that our world faces. He and Beat have engaged in fun minor wars in the past, but as of right now, nothing.
Triped lends his unique sense of humor, and unwarranted hatred of certain people to the site between naps on the company can. He, the Professor, Beat, and The Saint once engaged in a Poetry Contest in which they all wrote increasingly insane pomes about mauling, mutilating and killing protesters. While no clear victor emerged, it is generally accepted that protesters lost.
We are fairly certain that he is a bear. Spread the word!
