Dreams

From The Encyclopedia of Pointless

Hello. Welcome. Would you like some tea? No? Well, then, let's begin. I'm here to talk a little about Dreams, and what they mean to you, the consumer. Dreams are strange happenings when an organic carbon-based brain is in a state of unconsciousness for a variable period of time. Generally, they reflect the various day's activities in ways both uncommon or extraordinary. For example, if you ate eggs for breakfast on your birthday three years ago, this fact could be reflected as a birthday cake made out of scrambled eggs. Or perhaps all your presents are wrapped in fried eggs. Or the egg-shaped aliens that are probing your buttocks. The possibilities are only limited by types of eggs. Dreams can unlock the untold secrets of the universe. For example, a friend of mine recently had a dream about being in a play he witnessed months ago, and he recited/heard every line exactly like he heard them in the play, even when he couldn't do it awake if his life depended on it. Now, while reciting lines from a play may not seem like a secret of the universe, neither does snow globes, and I think we all know how that turned out! Now, for some common dreams, and their basic meaning:

Flying Dreams

Flying dreams are usually your brain's reward for doing nothing really worth recapping to you. So, insteadn of pulling things from your recent memories, you fly around. Good for you! I'vebnever had one of these dreams. Ever. Well, one time I started falling at the end of my dream. But that's as close as I've ever gotten.

Recurring Dreams

Someone is trying to tell you something. Whether it's your subconsious taking a crack at a problem you're facing, or maybe that crazy neighbor next door is trying to make you steal things for his secret plot to overthrow mankind. Whatever it is, your brain finds it important enough to tell you over and over and over and over and generally making the sleeping world a really annoying place.

"Whew! It was just a dream!" Dreams

These can sometimes be scarier than nightmares, because they hit surprisingly close to home. Usually, the dream starts with you waking up, getting ready, going to work, whatever, and then BOOM, something terrible happens. You remember that report that's due today. You've been fired. Somebody's Strawberried the Chilicheesecake. What are you going to do??????? Then you wake up, and say, "Whew! It was just a dream!" Now, I'm one of those lucky individuals that has had those dreams where you keep waking up and you don't know if you're dreaming or awake. It's a bit unsettling. And it usually means you worry too much. Or not enough.

Really Boring Dreams

These are dreams that start out like the above dream, but then end like a normal day. It means you're really boring. You need to start worrying more.

Weird Dreams

These are by far the most common dreams. They generally don't take place in a familiar area, or they just start out in a familiar area. Most of the time, these dreams try and throw in every single reference to your life they can, and try to keep them really odd. Usually in these dreams you seem to have knowledge that you wouldn't normally have, like knowing where the bathroom is in some bizarre spaceport, or being friends with someone you've never met before in the real world. Oddly enough, these dreams are usually the ones with the most meaning behind them, as your subconscious is trying to tell you something. Pay especially close attention to recurring weird dreams.

Movie Dreams

These are dreams where you play no role in the dream itself, instead you watch other people, usually strangers, play out a story. A lot of times these stories are actually pretty good, and with a little tweaking, you can turn them into a motion picture blockbuster. How else can you explain Godzilla?

Lucid Dreams

No, not Lurid Dreams. These are the coolest dreams. Ones where you realize you're dreaming, and can control what happens in the dream. Supposedly. The last lucid dream I had, I tried to make a water tower disappear and it didn't work. Oh well. Another note I might add that occasionally you may have a dream where you "Remember" what happened in the dream, and you can change the outcome. Now while not technically Lucid, they are unusual, especially if you can't figure out how you remember the dream when you're sure you've never had it before. It might mean you wish to change something about your life.

Nightmares

Whenever the majority of the things you're exposed to are scary, your brain usually reflects this as a scary dream. Now while it might be about something as close to home as a family member dying, or losing your job, it could be as weird as the headless horseman's coming to murder you. In any case, they're dangerous business. And they're usually a sign that you need to take a break from life before you hurt yourself.

-- Mr. Encyclopedia

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