Choices
From The Encyclopedia of Pointless
As the resident Professor I find it completely appropriate to share my knowledge with you all. You see in my studies I found that there comes a point in all of our lives when we have to make a choice. Choices are in front of us all the time; they are inevitable. There are many different types of choices, but I’d like to focus on one specific breed, “Bad.” Now no one here can say they have not made a Bad Choice before. In fact I’m confident you’ve made at least one Bad Choice already. Don’t believe me? Well you’re reading this article, and thus my point has been proven.
The funny thing about these choices is that they are almost entirely viewed in hindsight. Which means that you don’t know you are making one of them until it is far too late to change what you have done. This makes it very hard to avoid the “Bad Choice.” “What’s the big deal?” one might ask. Well you see Bad Choices are known to be bad, hazardous and detrimental to our lives. This article has been written in hopes that you will make less bad choices, by showing you examples of bad choices.
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Bad Choice Example #1
- When walking down the street you get the urge to bang into a sign. Choosing to embrace that urge by banging into the sign will make you look foolish, and it may make your head swell up. Now unless you like showing off your stupidity to the immediate crowd by banging into a sign, and you enjoy having a large lump to boast your stupidity to those who did not witness your action, this is a Bad Choice.
Bad Choice Example #2
- You have been given a large sum of money and you get the desire to spend it on crap that will temporarily satisfy your human desires. By choosing to do this you accomplish a couple of things. You see not only will you end up having buyer’s remorse, but you will be jeopardizing your future. Rather than having the money for an upcoming unforeseen emergency/tragedy, you have a large paperweight that you no longer use, or a negative profit from trying to rid yourself of such a product. The thing that makes this Bad Choice notable is the fact that it satisfies your temporary desires. Once the money is gone and you are stuck in a bad situation, you have no money to dig yourself out and get back on your feet.
Bad Choice Example #3
- Tasting various poles in wintertime. We’ve all been walking in winter, and we have all seen frozen poles of winter. What you need to learn is that these frozen poles are not giant Popsicles. Licking these poles will not only taste incredibly bad, but will land you in a most vulnerable position. Your tongue will become stuck to the pole and you won’t be able to flee the gangsters that happened to be following you. Next thing you know they are kicking you and plucking your back hairs individually. This is why I dub this a Bad Choice.
Bad Choice Example #4
- Buying a cat from a pet shop. Normally buying pets is a good idea, however in this case it is not. If you buy a cat from a pet shop you are just asking for me to run it over. Save your money, don’t buy the cat.
Bad Choice Example #5
- You see that the Professor has posted a new article and decide to read it. You see the thing that makes this a Bad Choice is that I am completely full of crap. Reading my articles will not help you in any way, unless you have the understanding that helping is synonymous with hindering. My lack of intellectual writing and horrible grammar is why I dub this a Bad Choice.
Now that you have seen some examples of these horribly Bad Choices, my hope is that you will stop making them. Life becomes much better when you stop regretting the choices you have made. So enjoy the world and make good choices.
| -- The Professor |
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