Blog Game Questions 2

From The Encyclopedia of Pointless


Would you care for some...

  1. Cheese?
  2. Mota?
  3. Football and flaming distruction?

You are piloting a Class 'A' Light Space Travel Vehicle, traveling in excess of 53,000^100kp/s. What is the minimum safe stopping distance at this speed?

  1. 3 inches
  2. 42 seconds
  3. 5 planet lengths

College is...

  1. An opportunity to increase your skills for a preferred trade.
  2. A chance to get really, really, REALLY drunk
  3. A place where there is never any parking.

If I have 10 dollars, and Bob steals 5 of my dollars, how many dollars do I have?

  1. 5 dollars
  2. 15 dollars. Or at least I will when I hunt down Bob and forcefully take my money back with intrest.
  3. Not enough money to buy anything worth having.

What changes would you make if you suddenly conquered the earth.

  1. Outlaw war, improve the economy, help the needy.
  2. Torture the pitiful people, burn down some rainforests, erect giagantic statues of yourself.
  3. Make everybody wear top hats with signs on them that read "Our Dictator is awesome!"

How does one obtain illumination?

  1. Through meditation
  2. Through the blog game
  3. Through mass distruction.

Can you too be a world leader?

  1. No.
  2. Definately no.
  3. Possibly, if you spread money around in the right places.

What shape is the earth?

  1. Spherical
  2. Flat
  3. The shape of the back of the giant turtle it rests on. Duh!

If Televison is a great force in modern life then...

  1. We should do whatever the magic TeeVee box tells us to.
  2. Then we shouldn't watch TV. It's boring.
  3. Shut up! Can't you see I'm watching TV?

I hate you.

  1. I do not feel inclined to care.
  2. The feeling is mutual.
  3. Not as much as I hate you!

If the whole is greater then the sum of the parts, then...

  1. Magic is involved.
  2. Evil is involved.
  3. Magic Evil Science is involved

Pop culture is...

  1. An evil more evil then any other evil.
  2. an enigma, because it is never made clear excatly who likes pop culure.
  3. A sign of the apocalypse.

What happens if you get your blog game point count down to zero?

  1. You will be sent a tasteful plaque which reads "Congradulations, ye who have gotten the blog game point count down to zero.
  2. The laws of physics will be lifted and the earth will fall into the sun.
  3. Nothing.

The encyclopedia Of Pointless is...

  1. The best thing ever
  2. Not the best thing ever
  3. A website.

You have to write a 9 page paper, and it's due tommrow! What should you do?

  1. Work on it all night
  2. Break into a friend's or classmates house, break his or her leg so he or she can't be in school tomorow, steal their paper, and turn it in as yours.
  3. Blow it off, tell your teacher "No, I totally did the paper," as you hand her a wad of bribe money.

Who is the coolest Villan?

  1. Vincent Volaju
  2. Tetsuo
  3. I haven't even heard of either of those!

Have you any _________ to spare?

  1. Shovles
  2. Money
  3. Hallucinations in the form of the most beautiful butterflies imaginable

Sign on the dotted line please.

  1. No
  2. Okay
  3. You want it in ink or blood?

She sells sea shells by the...

  1. Sea Shore
  2. Statue of Abe Lincon
  3. Senate

What do you need to open the blue door?

  1. The blue key.
  2. A battering ram.
  3. A lock rattler, or maybe a hairpin, provided you have the required know-how.

Choose your fate!

  1. Death by stabbity
  2. Life by stabbity
  3. Stasis by stabbity

Why are Pirate jokes funny?

  1. They just ARRRRR!
  2. They appeal to a primal form of intelegence that has affected ARRRRR ancestors for generations.
  3. They really ARRRRRn't.

Is this the first question in the blog game database?

  1. No.
  2. Definately No.
  3. A winner is you!

What will you brun?

  1. A rake!
  2. A table and chair!
  3. A video game system you personally dislike!

Which article will surpass the others in ratings?

  1. Disney
  2. Words
  3. Atrocities

Which of the following is an important food group?

  1. Beer
  2. Cheese
  3. MOTA!

If Justin Timberlake and Dexter Holland were to fight, who would win?

  1. Dexter Holland
  2. Justin Timberlake
  3. Who's Dexter Holland?

What happens when worlds collide?

  1. Presumably lots of crushing.
  2. Epic crossover stories are told.
  3. Who cares?

Which one is the anitchrist?

  1. Bill Gates
  2. Billy Goats
  3. Bob the builder.

The error attacks and does twenty damage!

  1. Defend!
  2. Attack!
  3. Cast oDeathify!

A giant monster is destroying the city!

  1. Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!
  2. Ignore it.
  3. Suck up to it!

Battle start! Dracula HP: one million billion jillion!

  1. Attack!
  2. Defend!
  3. USE: wooden stake!

What will you sacrifice to the God of tofu!

  1. Johhy Wallbank!
  2. My wallet!
  3. Your wallet!

Which is not reccomended?

  1. Spending time with or around famous people.
  2. Distroying and ruinating for fun and profit.
  3. Playing the blog game when there's work to be done.

What will you sell?

  1. A sword with a lower attack power then the one you currently have.
  2. Your right kidney.
  3. A scroll to summon a ghost ship full of pirate ninjas.

I like pie.

  1. Good for you.
  2. Bad for you! Pie is evil! Evil!
  3. What now?

What is the purpose of the internet?

  1. To laugh at dot com industries as they go bankrupt one by one.
  2. To create tension and hatred for fellow man as pages slowly load
  3. The true puropse of the internet is not to be spoken of in the presence of children.

Which is better?

  1. Money
  2. Booze
  3. Socks

The cat is...

  1. Firing upon us! Take cover!
  2. On the mat.
  3. Really a sophisticated robot designed to kill indiscriminately.

Which is best?

  1. Iorn Monkey
  2. Batman
  3. Neither

Because...

  1. It's there
  2. I can
  3. I feel like it

When the nanomachines enter the mind they enter as...

  1. The most beautiful butterflies imaginable
  2. Lights
  3. Nanomachines. Duh.

Do you think we should?

  1. Yes I do.
  2. Only if we won't get caught.
  3. No, It's a stupid Idea that will likely get us both killed.

If I could...

  1. then I would.
  2. I still wouldn't
  3. I might.

Why?

  1. Just Because
  2. Because If I didn't the world would have ceaced rotation and flown into the sun.
  3. Why not.

For what?

  1. Great Justice.
  2. Okay Justice.
  3. Substandard Justice.

Choose a Spell

  1. oFish
  2. oDeathify
  3. oRuination

Why did the dead baby cross the road?

  1. Because Eddie's a heroin addict
  2. Ka, fool!
  3. BECAUSE IT WAS STAPLED TO THE CHICKEN, YOU DOPEY %#@$! *BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM*

Yharr...

  1. It's drivin' me nuts!
  2. You fool! National Talk Like A Pirate Day is September 19th!
  3. ...age.

A Beholder appears. You:

  1. ...moan, whimper, cry, crawl into the corner, wet yourself -- you know, the works.
  2. Poke it in the eye(s). With a spoon.
  3. Stand and give it the one-finger salute before being turned to stone and blown into a billion pieces.

I said...

  1. WE'VE HAD ENOUGH!
  2. ...cheese. Provolone.
  3. ...the name's Bond. Gold Bond.

While exiting The Cave of A Thousand Treasures And No Fewer Traps, you find yourself cornered by an Elder Red Dragon. You:

  1. Pull out your +17 Sword of Slay Anything.
  2. Flee back into The Cave of A Thousand Treasures And No Fewer Traps, from whence you exited to find yourself cornered by an Elder Red Dragon, whereupon you fled back into The Cave of A Thousand Treasures And No Fewer Traps, from whence you exited to find yourself cornered by an Elder Red Dragon, whereupon you...
  3. About-face, drop your pants, and pull out a fresh character sheet.

Love

  1. Hate
  2. Anger. Fear. Hate. The Dark Side of the Force are they. But not so dark as the Dark Side of the Duct Tape, for this is the side that will not stick to surfaces, and greatly does it vex me, hmn, yeeeesssss....
  3. Cogito ergo dim sum. (Therefore I think these are pork buns.)

Mr. Rico!

  1. Bugs, Mr. Rico! Millions of 'em!
  2. Johnny Rico??
  3. Ah, you mean Ricky Ricardo.

You may already be a winner!

  1. But I'm not a winner!
  2. It's true! I won last week's contest!
  3. Leave me alone!

Best Mel Brooks film?

  1. Spaceballs!
  2. Blazing Saddles, you ******.
  3. History of the World Part II! ...Wait a minute...

"The same dream, again...

  1. ...I need to use the bathroom more often."
  2. ...I need to seek professional help."
  3. ...Oh well. At least I don't talk like a three-year-old girl like that blue guy..."

You see Charlie walking down the street. What do you do?

  1. Keep walking. *I'm* not touching him!
  2. Run up to him and SIT!
  3. ...Who?

Which should the Evil Overlord do?

  1. Leave the hero to die in a pit of quicksand with no hope of escape, laughing maniacally.
  2. Have his Legions of Terror wear clear plastic visors, rather than face-concealing ones.
  3. Reveal his master plan for unilateral domination before he has the heroes executed.

Favorite phrase?

  1. "Don't hurt me!"
  2. "BOW TO ME!"
  3. "(moo?)"

Why was the pirate movie Rated "Arrr!"

  1. Because of all the booty!
  2. Because of the graphic depictions of scurvy sea dogs.
  3. Who cares! But it's fun to say "Arrr!"

Philosophy is

  1. A waste of time
  2. A Humongous waste of time.
  3. Silence you fool! I can't hear the TV!

Best viewed with...

  1. A monitor so expensive that you won't be able to afford it even after it's obsolete.
  2. A gigantic projector that will display the image on the sky itself.
  3. Eyes.

Charlie has angered you. You:

  1. String him up by his toenails and beat him into unconciousness with an organic carrot.
  2. Scream and run. After him. He's running, obviously, as short people are at just the wrong level, fist-wise.
  3. Lock him in a room with a beautiful nun and a Gamecube that lacks a power supply. Who says Dante had a corner on eternal hell?

Wild Charlie appears, and wants to fight!

  1. Bite his ear off.
  2. Smite!
  3. Summon Yog-sothoth, the Black Goat With A Thousand Young, to consume him after sending him blathering into gibbering eternal torment.

So Homer took the nuclear submarine to Russia.

  1. MUST....CRUSH...CAPTIALISM!
  2. It's pronounced "nook-you-ler".
  3. I told him that picture would come back to haunt him.

Love is like...

  1. a porcupine.
  2. riding across the Arctic tundra on a snowmobile, which flips over, trapping you beneath it. At night, the ice weasels come.
  3. Friederich Nietzsche

Housecat.

  1. The other white meat.
  2. My candle snuffer!
  3. Like a doghouse?

So you see this dog, right?

  1. Gog and Magog, Destroyers of the Universe?
  2. You mean GOD, you dyslexic loof!
  3. I prefer chicken.

Who's the king?

  1. Me.
  2. You.
  3. Whoever dern wants to be!

Eagles may fly high, but...

  1. ...weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
  2. ...then they lose all intellectual and philosophical capacity due to the Mary-Jane on the brain, if you knowwhaddahmean.
  3. ...they're birds. I mean, hey, birds flying -- TALK ABOUT A CRAZY NOTION! WOO! WOO!

Good Girl + Stupid Boy =

  1. Babies
  2. The end of the world as we know it. By which I mean Democrats. And cheese. And a faint hint of Pepto-Bismol
  3. Dear Lord, you mean he found a girl who TOLERATES him??? *faints*

Who is hotter?

  1. Chris
  2. Legolas
  3. Heath Ledger

Mota!

  1. *Guitar solo*
  2. What now?
  3. Oh, so you like the offspring too?

Freedom!

  1. Yay! Freedom is good!
  2. Boo! Freedom is bad!
  3. Meh. Fredom is okay.

What will you do?

  1. Sue somebody that hurt your delicate feelings.
  2. Read some John Leo columns.
  3. Dance like a drunken monkey.

Whodunit?

  1. The butler! It's always the butler!
  2. The plumber! It's always the plumber!
  3. We are all innocent! Just like in the Our Lady Peace song!

Who wrote this entry?

  1. Who cares?
  2. The author did, you fool!
  3. LA LA LA! LA LA LA!

Distruction:

  1. It's fun!
  2. It's distructive!
  3. It's better then TV.

Which best discribes you.

  1. I'm Happy.
  2. I'm Unhappy.
  3. I'm Better then you, and I have more money!

You picked the purple rock! What did you win?

  1. The fast-splasher 3000!
  2. Instant vaporization!
  3. A ticket to a swinging shin-dig!

Which is the most scary?

  1. Bob the builder
  2. Dracula
  3. Marylin Manson.

If Dracula and the wolfman were to fight, who would win?

  1. Dracula.
  2. Wolfman.
  3. It would be a tie.

How did you do on the SAT?

  1. Better then you did.
  2. Worse then you did.
  3. Who wants to know?

If a Biped has two legs and a triped has three legs then a piped has...

  1. 3.14... legs
  2. It has no legs! It is simply the area of the three dimensional shape created by three vectors and their paralells.
  3. I dunno.

Which of the following is the most evil?

  1. A guy named "Paul."
  2. A guy named "Chris."
  3. A guy named "Spawn of Hitler-Satan."

Which band once rocked?

  1. The Ramones. Duh.
  2. The Backstreet Boys! They were totally awesome!
  3. I'm not sure, but It definitely wasn't the Backstreet Boys.

Which is worse?

  1. The ice weasles.
  2. Mud weasles.
  3. Armageddon!

You have $8.00. What should you buy?

  1. Lunch.
  2. A "Ramones" Zippo Lighter.
  3. Buy nothing, but take a moment to acknowledge the fact that one of the blog game writers really likes the Ramones.

Which Dexter?

  1. Dexter Holland.
  2. Dexter, Boy Genius.
  3. Some other Dexter.

Fool!

  1. Your flamethrower has messed up my hair!
  2. Your hair has messed up my flamethrower!
  3. I love you!

I was just calling to say...

  1. ...I love you!
  2. ...You did write your third of the report that's due tomorrow, right? The one that’s worth 95.8 percent of our grade?
  3. ...That I am your father!

Which would you rather not be in the proximity of?

  1. Drug addicts.
  2. Boy bands.
  3. Trekkies.

Battle start! Superman: 1000000000 HP.

  1. Attack!
  2. Cast oFish!
  3. Cast oKryptonite!

What now?

  1. You're not my real mom!
  2. I dig the Ramones.
  3. Dude, shut up about the Ramones!

Is it saturday?

  1. No it's a weekday, or as you put it, "That unpesant period between weekends."
  2. No it's sunday. Time for church.
  3. Yes, it is.

No really, Who's the king?

  1. You mean Queen, you fiendish cur!
  2. Elvis Presly
  3. Attilla the hun.

Best song ever.

  1. "Rock and Roll Radio" by the Ramones.
  2. "The happy happy joy joy song" By Ren and Stimpy.
  3. That one song, you know the one that goes dun dun dun da? You know the one! I love that song!

Guess who wrote this one?

  1. I'm thinking Beat did. He seems like the kind of one to do this.
  2. Nah, It's got to be Mr. E. I'm under the impression he does everything on this site.
  3. It could be just some random yahoo. Anybondy who has the right point count can do it.

Which would win in a fight?

  1. The terminator. Or one of them anyways.
  2. That ninja dude in "Shinobi"
  3. "Grave" from "Gungrave." Nothing can kill him.

Teehehe...

  1. What's so funny?
  2. Wait... Oh, I get it.
  3. Dude! Thats just plain sick and wrong!

Ninjas!

  1. The cut up the peoples!
  2. With their shiny swords!
  3. And make big profit!

The proper response to someone accidentally causing you pain is...

  1. "Excuse me my good fellow, but you seem to have inadvertently caused me pain."
  2. "AWWAAA!!!! (Censored)ing (Censored)itty (Censored) (Censored)!!!!”
  3. "My blood hurts."

I'm just calling to...

  1. ask why that very important document is not yet on my desk.
  2. Invite you to my totally sweet birthday party.
  3. Profess my great love.

Rock and Roll Decadence...

  1. Is a lost art. I mean, now many band members drink in moderation, don't do drugs, and are married family men. Dexter Holland has a Ph.D in Microbiology for Pete's sake.
  2. Is a good thing. I mean sure it kills stars young, but that way they'll be remembered.
  3. Is not something you'll see practiced by any wimpy popstars.

My name is...

  1. Shake-zula, the mic ruler, the old schooler, ya wanna trip, I'll bring it to ya
  2. Frylock and I'm on top, rock you like a cop, Meatwad you're up next with your knock-knock
  3. Meatwad make the money, see, Meatwad get the honeys, G. Driving in my car, Living like a star, Ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a Taurus

Which is most likely to save the day?

  1. The Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
  2. The Justice Leauge
  3. My pet cat, socks.

So...

  1. ...your dog ate your homework, huh?
  2. ...you want to go to the movies first, then get a pizza. That's cool.
  3. ...Sally can wait, She knows it's too late, as she's walking on by. My soul slides away, but don't look back in anger, I heard you say.

Which one?

  1. Frylock
  2. Master Shake
  3. Meatwad

Gentlemen!

  1. I... have lost weight!
  2. Turn it on!
  3. Behold... this thing I made!

Most awesome.

  1. That guy in "The Transporter"
  2. That Guy in "Desperado"
  3. Duke Nukem.

What is the good news?

  1. Hubba Hubba zoot zoot
  2. I just saved a bundle on my car insurance
  3. The drain pipes really do lead to the Mushroom Kingdom!

A Parcel Service would like to hire what do you do?

  1. Rejoice for employement
  2. Rejoice because you can abuse things and get paid for it
  3. Cry because you had to stoop to their level to find employment

Wunderbar!

  1. Wonder what?
  2. He exclaimed with great relish
  3. Sorry, I don't speak jibberish

You woke up this morning and decided to play an instrument, but which one?

  1. Tuba
  2. Baritone sax
  3. Bass Guitare of course!

Elementary my dear ____.

  1. Watson
  2. Batman
  3. Zorak

What would you rather fly?

  1. A chocobo
  2. The Celcius
  3. The Kelvin

Why do people eat moldy cheese?

  1. Mold is the secret to weight loss.
  2. It's a government conspiracy I tell you!
  3. The human brain mistakes those green spots for something edible.

When you need wisdom you go to...

  1. Yoda
  2. Yogurt
  3. A Llama

Who is tougher?

  1. Cloud
  2. Squall
  3. Tidus

Who is your hero?

  1. Space Ghost
  2. Brak
  3. Zorak

Your big project is due tomorrow, you....

  1. Watch an episode of Cowboy Bebop
  2. Hire someone to do it for you
  3. Buy a cervo...they are the coolest!

Which is faster?

  1. Warp 5.9
  2. Ludicrous Speed!
  3. Hyper Speed!

Use the...

  1. Force
  2. Schwartz
  3. One Power

Which will you read to little timmy when he asks for a bedtime story?

  1. Goodnight Moon.
  2. Grimm's Fairy Tales.
  3. Fairly Grim Tales.

Which Show is the reason Television was invented?

  1. Monk.
  2. Harvy Birdman, Attorny at law.
  3. Aqua Teen Hunger force... Hey, aren't these supposed to say something like "ER" or "Jag"? ...Yes I know that thoes shows suck but everybody else is always giving them awards. Oh forget it.

A Quaffle is ...

  1. An alien from a distant plannet
  2. A new type of waffle
  3. Somthing from Harry Potter

Do you use your powers....

  1. for good?
  2. for awesome?
  3. None of your business, you FREAK.

Look!

  1. It's a bird!
  2. It's a plane!
  3. I am SO not falling for that one. Again.

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

  1. What do you mean, an African swallow or a European swallow?
  2. I don't know that!
  3. Some guy with his own website actually calculated this to be 24 mph. So THERE!

Insanity is....

  1. doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.
  2. a lovely place to be.
  3. AAAAAAA!!!!! There are green aliens climbing up my walls! And they took my Cheesy poofs!

What is your current point total?

  1. Whatever it is, it's not an integer.
  2. None of your business, you.
  3. What difference does it make? It's going to change as soon as I answer this question.

Pokemon are....

  1. the SPAWN of SATAN, the Devil, the Anti-Christ, the Prince of Darkness, Baal, Beelzebub, or whatever other titles you choose to associate with a being of ultimate evil.
  2. Pika Pika!!!
  3. The brilliant product of one sadistic twerp who figured out how to put his dark creativity to lucrative marketing use.

Where have you been?

  1. You don't want to know.
  2. I'm not telling.
  3. Well, there was this funny thing that happened.... I was abducted by aliens and taken to their secret laboratory where they performed all sorts of unusual and inhumane experiments on me, but I escaped by using my newfound superpowers to create a spontaneous combustion in the spaceship, not realizing that this would cause me to respawn in the middle of a gladiator field, where I got killed by an overgrown half-orc with really bad teeth, causing me to respawn somewhere off of Main Street, but given that I had lost my car keys on the last respawn, I had to walk all the way back here. Sorry, Mom.

You encounter the ANDOSE! What do you do?

  1. Attack!
  2. Distract with shiny object!
  3. Distract with Bethie!

Shigeru Miyamoto is cooler than...

  1. Your mom
  2. Dave Barry
  3. The Blog Game

It all depends on your SKILL!

  1. Go for broke!
  2. Triumph or die!
  3. Face it straight!

if(windoze.isRunning)

  1. windoze.freeze();
  2. windoze.eatMemory(all);
  3. delete windoze;

The duck says...

  1. "Moooo!"
  2. "Meow!"
  3. "Go to heck, you dog butt mother farter!"

Which one?

  1. POWAA WAVE!
  2. BAAAAN NAAKOO!
  3. AAH YOO OKAY? BUSTAAA WOLUFF!

Who am I talking about?

  1. Rupert Murdoch
  2. How in tarnation am I supposed to know?
  3. That one guy! You know, that one guy, who like, he walks around, and, you know, says stuff? Yeah, him.

I want more Blog points!

  1. Good for you.
  2. Shut up.
  3. I like trout. No, really, I do.

Anyway...

  1. ...yeah.
  2. ...I still think that this world needs more radioactive hamsters.
  3. ...I'm not cliché, I hardly own any ties, I may be old but at least I'm not like all those other old guys!

Does Hungarian notation suck or what?

  1. No joke.
  2. Hungarian what now?
  3. n_It vpr_is adj_good! n_It vpr_helps n_readability!

Why in the world are you still playing this?

  1. Because I have no life.
  2. Because my [preferred game console] is broken.
  3. Because squirple blatt.

Which one?

  1. Geese Howard
  2. Howard Johnson
  3. Johnson & Johnson

Heck!

  1. Yeah!
  2. Huh?
  3. I suppose.

Reppuken!

  1. That's nice.
  2. Well, reppuken to you too.
  3. Oh yeah? Your mom's a reppuken!! ...uh, what's a reppuken?

Which is cheaper?

  1. Kara throwing
  2. Roll cancelling
  3. That deal they have at McDonalds where you can get a fish sandwich meal for 3 bucks, when the sandwich alone costs 2.30

If ducks are outlawed...

  1. ...only outlaws will carry ducks.
  2. ...the ducks will go stark raving mad, turning against the humans and refusing to eat anything but macadamia nuts.
  3. ...I dunno what would happen, but it would probably suck.

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

  1. In that one place.
  2. In the computer. Duh.
  3. In a far away magical place where no one will ever find her, except little nine-year-old kids who trail her easily because she was stupid enough to leave clues that are only slightly less obvious than a typhoon.

Which language is the dumbest?

  1. English.
  2. Klingon.
  3. C#. I mean, seriously.

Bob's your uncle!

  1. No, he's not!
  2. Who's Bob?
  3. Bill Murray's my uncle? Cool!

Hey, who allowed them to join this tournament? They're way too strong to compete- I mean, what's up with that?

  1. Someone is going to have to take this team down!
  2. That was the best fight I ever saw!
  3. Wifflesnibbit.

This question was funnier in my head.

  1. Then why is it so un-funny outside your head? Does the world outside your head have Boredom Faeries that remove the funniness from jokes?
  2. Who cares?
  3. What is the fundamental purpose of shampoo?

Who is Al?

  1. Bob.
  2. Stan.
  3. Jeff.

Given X-Men, the X Window System, and Mega Man X, what is the value of X?

  1. Takara Sushi
  2. Killian Peepel
  3. Beef
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