Blog Game Questions 1

From The Encyclopedia of Pointless

Will you...

1. Take the fish
2. Move to limbo
3. Squash peas

I Squash peas! You're in a tough spot now! Do you...

1. Stand on one foot and quack
2. Kick me in the uncomfortables
3. Stop playing

And lo, he said THIS:

1. Robert said no to you.
2. Things'll always be bloggo.
3. RAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKA.

Should you...

1. Dunk a basketball
2. Dunk your cookies in milk
3. Dunk a monkey

How many?

1. 3
2. 5, sir!
3. Numbers?

Which one?

1. Eat a fish
2. move to limbo
3. Tickle an Umbrella

Chocoloco?

1. Louis J.M rules nothing.
2. Louis J.M appreciates your fish.
3. Snarf2K.

Why did you do that?!

1. I thought about the nuts.
2. Rabbitland.
3. Johnny's socks.

Where?

1. Mr. Holland's Opus
2. Greenflower Zone
3. Pallet Town

Am I...

1. Wearing a blue shirt?
2. Skydiving from a helicopter?
3. In my private jet

Am I...

1. Eating fish
2. Sniffing fish
3. What the hell have fish got to do with this anyway?

Who?

1. Bill
2. Bill Gates
3. Bill Billamson

Pick one...

1. Nambi
2. Pambi
3. Bambi

What have I got in my pocket?

1. A bit of string
2. Neptune
3. Nothing

What have you got in your pocket?

1. A Rocket
2. Teepee for your bunghole
3. Ted

Who should you NOT kill?

1. Kenny
2. Hanson
3. Slugs

What is the answer?

1. 2
2. 3
3. 1

7. Which one?

1. Kangaroo
2. Homer Simpson
3. All of the above

Now, which one?

1. Use an umbrella in a storm
2. Dress up your dog with an umbrella
3. Work for Umbrella Corp.

The answer to this question is what?

1. True
2. False
3. Null and Void

A train leaves miami at 2:00 AM. Another train leaves Miami at 3:00. They both travel at 5 miles per hour. What is the answer?

1. Somebody is in a hurry, sir.
2. Somebody is not in a hurry, Lord.
3. Somebody is a total moron, Superime lord and master, ruler of the universe, and holder of my paycheck.

Why?

1. The cat told me to.
2. Why not?
3. ARGH! MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!

Who's for pickled onions?

1. Me!
2. Him!
3. The postman!

Which one?

1. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi
2. Woof
3. Hamburgalar

Boys + Girls = ?

1. A swinging shin-dig
2. Silly
3. Move to limbo

This makes how much sense?

1. Complete sense, sir.
2. No sense.
3. No sense even to Louis JM

Who?

1. Archie Andrews
2. Archie Bunker
3. Pete

Where to?

1. Neptune
2. Limbo
3. Jimbo

When?

1. Next time
2. 1899
3. I like your hair, billy-bob.

You have 18 Gil. What do you buy?

1. A teepee
2. Mr. Bean
3. A pocket

What will you do now?

1. Carry the umbrella
2. Move to limbo
3. Hop up and down on one foot untill you fall over.

Do you...

1. Save Meryl
2. Pick the Purple Rock
3. Eat the Purple Rock

Which one?

1. ICQ
2. C3PO
3. IAUTTP (I am unsafe to the public!)

Which?

1. Apple Pie
2. Cow Pie
3. Elemental Pi

Where?

1. Cuba
2. The backseat of a car
3. Inside the world's largest peice of cheese

What?

1. I didn't hear you.
2. I did hear you.
3. Up stairs!

Where have all the flowers gone?

1. In my pocket.
2. In your pocket.
3. The postman!

Who died and made you King?

1. The Good King
2. The Bad King
3. The purple rock

Great. Now what?

1. Do the Limbo
2. Perform the Chicken Dance, 'baby'
3. Light the candle wick, quickly!

What did you do last Summer?

1. You KNOW what I did last Summer
2. He KNOWS what I did last Summer
3. You did WHAT?!

I sneezed.

1. Gesundheit!
2. Gof bless you!
3. Please don't hurt me, you vicious psycho.

What do you do in doubt?

1. Shave the cat
2. Do as the romans do
3. HyperPoke!

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

1. 150 board feet
2. 200 board feet
3. 250 board feet

You will sing which song?

1. "That's not my foot" by Chrysteena Aguiralirgalgielierlaglera
2. "This is a terrible love song" by NambyPambyBoyBand
3. "An Ode to Britain in 5 parts - Part 8" by Captain 'Captain Awesome' Awesome.

What did life begin with?

1. An explosion
2. An implosion
3. Hypochondriacs

Respond to the statement, "If you answer this question your life will be better":

1. RIDICULOUS!
2. GENIUS!
3. What's the time, mush?

What will you deposit?

1. A tent
2. A complicated flow-chart
3. A large alcoholic dwarf

Slap and...?

1. Tickle
2. Chuckle
3. Slap

The glass is...

1. Made from pink vases
2. On sale for ¥50,000,000
3. Lethargic

I'm innocent!

1. No way, mumma!
2. No way, distant-half-Mongolian-quarter-brother-in-law-in-line-to-the-throne
3. Great! Me too!

Is this the right answer?

1. Yes
2. Yes!
3. Ye - what am I signing again?

The answer to this question is: 'Agreed, senpai!'

1. It's... asexual.
2. Since when?
3. No it isn't.

Which will you advertise?

1. Leg hair
2. Promotional sandwiches
3. Slam jammin' kittens

Have you seen this question before?

1. "Not again!"
2. "I'm not here for idle chit-chat..."
3. "This... isn't where you return tax forms is it? =/"

Consider the statement, "If clowns got laid off, the world's eco-system would surely collapse from a lack of 'Scary Things' within the week". Discuss the validity of this statement in no less than 50 words.

1. Clearly, this isn't the case. Clowns only account for 5% of the world's oxygen, and that's only thanks to those stupid masks they wear. I mean, I could do better but help I'm running out of-
2. Sorry, the cat and I went swimming, and I lost my term paper there. I'll have it on your desk by next Wednesday though, honest!
3. ERROR 151: PAK CHOOIE UNF

When do you start?

1. 5 years from now
2. 9pm
3. 1t2 4 23c73+

This question contains sensitive material. True or false?

1. NULL
2. NULL
3. Giggling is not permitted on the school grounds

Which one of these questions is the wrong answer?

1. The one below this question
2. This one
3. All three!

Shampoo vs. Leg waxing:

1. I disagree
2. This isn't open to discussion!
3. Van of the Barn Dance

So... dancefloors, eh?

1. Get away from me.
2. Get away from it.
3. Get away from my book of German slang.

Who is Number 1?

1. Killy
2. Kelly
3. Kettles

Rockets are illegal only when combined with...

1. Ketchup
2. Hideo Kojima
3. Homsar

What should you do when confronted by a red-haired troll?

1. Flee in panic
2. Flee in stupidity
3. Flea powder the troll

Is this the last question in the Blog Game database?

1. Unlikely
2. Stupendously Unlikely
3. Unlike you, Snake! I have the ability to RANT RANT RANT

Where do you put the questions to this again?

1. In 'Label 54'
2. TEXT BOX
3. www.ifitwerentforyoumeddlingkids.com

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1. I told you that dilligence pays off!
2. Geoff, put down that robot THIS INSTANT!
3. 10 GOTO TRASHCAN

I am Error

1. Sorry I know nothing
2. He is desert to south
3. Y'got th' Big Key!

Spot the odd one out:

1. Michael Jackson
2. Johnny Wallbank
3. Tim the Overlord

Where?

1. Mr. Holland's Opus
2. Greenflower Zone
3. Pallet Town

Now, which one?

1. USE umbrella ON storm
2. Dress up your dog in an umbrella
3. Work for a vaguely evil Umbrella Corporation

How much sense does this question make?

1. Complete sense, luv
2. Little to no sense
3. No to little sense

When?

1. Next time
2. 21XX AD
3. I disapprove of your neckwear, Billy-Bob

Which one?

1. ICQ
2. C3PO
3. BADDs

Pardon me?

1. I didn't hear you
2. What are you doing with those trousers?
3. I say is that a sna-

A tree falls and no-one can see it. What do you do?

1. Buy a train set
2. Download the entire contents of the Internet
3. Swim in hydrochloric acid WITHOUT the appropriate eye-wear

Who's your leader?

1. Bob Pop
2. Captain ZIG
3. [Insert pronoun of your choice here]

The most clever one

1. Ten Tuna Tins Traipsing on the USS Enterprise
2. If you'd like to make a call, tough cookies
3. None of the above plus a little extra

How do you know she is a witch?

1. Build a bridge out of her
2. Compare her weight to the weight of a duck
3. I am in desperate need of a laxative

You encounter a level 3 error. What do you do?

1. Fight
2. Cast a Spell
3. Snarf it

You really need to get psychoactive help.

1. Minna baka.
2. Right now you could be piloting a fearsome mecha.
3. Look inside your mind and you will see cosmic eternity

what

1. a
2. b
3. c

If your where Mr. T what would you do?

1. Did milk eat veggies
2. Stay in school
3. Pie ya pants

Is this the dummest thing or what?

1. Yes.
2. Or What.
3. I refuse to answer.

How many calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?

1. 1.
2. None, God will change it.
3. I prefer Hobbes-ism, actually.

If a tree falls in the forest, and only a duck hears it...

1. ...which way is to Joe's?
2. ...wait a minute, ducks don't have ears!
3. ...I like pie!

Glowing malevolent eyes appear before you. What do you do?

1. I poke them with the nearest pointy implent.
2. My name's not Bob!
3. Yalt ha!

The compass points north

1. B
2. C
3. All or none of the above

Thanks for adding to the Blog Game.

1. You're Welcome
2. I'm Welcome
3. A winner am I!

Answer the following question?

1. Yes
2. No
3. I hate you...

Pick the next number in the sequence: 1, 2, 9, 16

1. 25
2. E: None of the above
3. Whether I am right or not is decided randomly anyway

Choose the best answer:

1. Mr. E., The Rabid Sniper, Diddlypuff
2. The Almight Red, The Professor, Mr. E.
3. Heed, Lucifer, all the others, (Mr. E.)

The square root of Pie

1. = 4(ish)
2. you will be calculating 'til you are blue in the face
3. is quite tasty

You are stranded on a dessert island. What do you do?

1. Build a shelter in the trees, construct rudimentary tools, and on alternating Tuesdays attend the local AA meetings
2. Pretend to be a mongoose until you feel your sanity returning
3. Eat the tastier animals

What now?

1. Give your money to me.
2. Decide to begin farming and fail miserably.
3. Eat pepper from the pepper grinder.

But Lieutenant...

1. The dwarf was on fire when I got here!
2. The newbie was on fire when I got here!
3. I'm a Colonel!

Why?

1. Because.
2. Why not?
3. Sniggle.

Who?

1. Roland the gunslinger
2. Blaine the Mono
3. Monev the Gale

Which one?

1. Smashing Pumpkins
2. Smashing Fingers
3. Smashing, dahling.

When confronted by a giant dragon, you...

1. Moan, whimper, call for Mommy.
2. GM bless you!
3. Erm...roll initiative?

All your base...

1. ...are belong to us.
2. All your BASES, ignorant fool!
3. balls have gone over the fence?

CPR is...

1. ...easier if you don't resist.
2. ...easiest if you wrap your lips around the victim's face.
3. ...illegal in forty-seven states, with the death penalty in three.

A car crashes and sobody sees it but sombidy gets kill how did they get killed?

1. Somebody has too musch time on their hands to answer it.
2. They get killed by aliens.
3. The peole in the car shoots the person then runs and dies too.

Stupid bobcats...

1. ...they should be shot!
2. ...I have pants.
3. ...always eating MY HAND OW OW OW OW OW!!!!

Whom do you serve?

1. Sauron.
2. That man from chapter 49273374.
3. Mr. Mommo.

Was the last question stupid?

1. Yes.
2. No.
3. Not as stupid as YOU!

Suddenly, a little green man with no ears and a dog with azipper jump out of an alley and scream, "YOU! You're after my robot bee!" What do you do?

1. Take his robot bee.
2. Grab his face and CRUSH.
3. Walk away an tell yourself it's just another stupid Blog Game question.

I LOVE YOU, MAN!!!

1. You're still not getting my Bud Light.
2. You're still not getting my jar of spit.
3. I love me too.

Does this dress make me look fat?

1. No, YOU make you look fat.
2. Well, I DID tell you to lay off the lard flakes...
3. The thought of you in a dress is just frightening. Go away and never return, Simba.

If I have two cows, and one of them dies, but I replace it with ten hampsters and a llama, then decide to get a gerbil and a drow for no apparent reason, then what do I have?

1. No life. Go away.
2. ...Nothing big enough to clean up all the poop, THAT'S for sure!
3. Well, you'd have a cow, a llama, ten hampsters, a gerbil and a drow, stupid.

What am I?

1. A very short question.
2. A very dumb short question.
3. I don't know...I haven't figured it out yet. You're certainly not funny!

BOOGLEMOO!

1. Oh, YEAH?
2. SHMUR!
3. SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURGE!!!

An ooze confronts you. What do you do?

1. Pet it and watch in agony as my hand dissolves.
2. Run the opposite direction.
3. Strike it with my munchkin-esque +17 Sword of Slay Anything.

You wish you had:

1. The X-Buster.
2. Guts' final sword.
3. Screw that! Gimme a Desert Eagle.

I want...

1. ...a twinkie.
2. ...a facelift.
3. ...a bottle in front of me then a frontal lobotomy.

What do you do THIS time?

1. Step 1: Collect underpants.
2. Step 2: ???
3. Step 3: BIG profit!

FISH HEADS FISH HEADS ROLY POLY FISH HEADS FISH HEADS FISH HEADS EAT 'EM UP, YUM!!!

1. ...
2. ...?
3. *sigh...*

WEll, everyone in your party is dead. Now what?

1. Blame it on the cleric.
2. Try to hide the heroin needles behind the stereo.
3. Cry.

I'm a little teapot, short and stout...

1. ...this is my handle, this is my spout.
2. ...hey, I was made by dwarves. Gimme a break.
3. ...I think Charlie needs to stop making questions for this game.

Nevermind it!

1. Okay.
2. Yes, sir!
3. I am the Angel of Death. The Time of Purification is at hand.

What's more disgusting?

1. Puke.
2. Uncooked, bloody meat.
3. My grandfather's back cheese.

Won't you stay for lunch? I think we're having...

1. Money!
2. 13 Unusually stout cabbages!
3. The soul of a truly good man!

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

1. A little "woosh" as it passes through the air.
2. It's no dissimilar to the sound of a tree falling in the forest.
3. Who cares? All I care about is MONEY!

How many boards would the mongols horad if the mongol horde got bored?

1. The Mongol hoard would hoard as many boards as the Mongol hoard could.
2. None, because the boredom would cause them to sell their boards to other hoards. The money recived in the transaction would probably be put to looting and distroying purposes.
3. I dunno.

Which CD rests in the CD player?

1. "Americana," you Rocker.
2. "The Eminem Show," you Rapper.
3. "Justincase," you Pansy.

When did this happen?!

1. Sometime last centry.
2. At 6:45:23:10PM eastern standard time.
3. Two days from now.

If lamps are outlawed...

1. ...only outlaws will have lamps!
2. ...life will go on.
3. ...We'll have to use celing light fixtures instead.

Have you prepared for the SAT?

1. Maybe.
2. Possibly.
3. Go away you!

To be considered "art," the Item in question...

1. ...must be unsurpassed in beauty and unmatched in style.
2. ...must be freaking expensive, constructed by an anti-social madman wearing a silly french hat, and make no sense at all to viewers who have better things to do then look at "art" all day.
3. ...must have laser guns, guitars, skelletons on motorcycles, and a soundtrack of "MeatLoaf" songs.

Who won the game?

1. The ninjas.
2. The pirates.
3. The pirate ninjas riding on the dinosaurs with the laser guns and jetpacks.

The ultimate insult is...

1. ...adding "your face" to whatever your verbal combatant says. EX: Should your opponent say "That's stupid," respond "Not as stupid as your face!"
2. ..."If i could clone you 5 times, you could start a boy band!"
3. ..."YOU SUCK!"

Trogdor was...

1. ...a man!
2. ...maybe he was a dragon-man!
3. ...or maybe he was just a dragon!

What will happen if you plant magic beans?

1. A gigantic beanstalk will shoot up to the heavens, where a giant who rather dislikes theives lives.
2. Nothing, becuase the "magic beans" that guy gave you for your cow are really rocks.
3. Who wants to know?

It's you!

1. Yes it is.
2. No it's not.
3. I'm him/her. You's apartment is down the hall.

My name is:

1. Gus
2. Not Gus
3. Quite possibly Gus, but with an equal possibiliy of being Al, and a very small chance of being Stan.

Summon:

1. Dracula
2. The Justice Leauge
3. Your Mom!

What is a "Magic Cow"?

1. A cow that's full of steaks!
2. A cow that must be killed in order to obtain the steaks!
3. A steak.

One Two Three...

1. Four
2. GO!
3. Kill!

Whodunit!

1. Professor Plumb In the dining room with the wrench.
2. General pothead with the hallucinogens in the basement
3. I confess, I did.

Speak Boy!

1. Ruff.
2. Woof.
3. Sorry, I'm not in the mood to talk.

Choose Your Weapon!

1. Vodka and a lighter
2. Scroll to summon city bus.
3. A paper clip and a piece of string.

Abe Lincoln gets on a train from New York to Los Angeles at 8:00 AM and travels at an average speed of 90 mph. Then at 10:00 AM on the same day, Genghis Kahn gets on a train from Los Angeles to New York, which travels at an average speed of 130 mph. Using the distance from LA to NY, their average speeds, and what you know about both historical figures, what drink should they request for the in-ride meal?

1. Cola
2. Orange Soda
3. It doesn't matter, because both trains were distroyed when they crashed into each other near Las Vegas.

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road

1. Because the chicken of the opposite gender on the other side of the road was totally hot.
2. Because he saw his roommate from chicken college on the other side and wanted to catch up.
3. Because he could darnit!

Which is far superior?

1. Rock and Roll
2. Playing Video Games
3. Listening to Rock and Roll while Playing Video games

Which One?

1. Love
2. Money
3. Lovely, Lovely Money!

A man looks at a painting of someone and says "Sons and brothers I have none, but this person's father is my fathers son." Who is the painting of?

1. I dunno.
2. His daughter. Duh.
3. Who cares? He's probably insane.

If a+b=c, then

1. Your life is a bitter, misrable experience and everything you love will be taken away.
2. b+a=c
3. The cosmos will grind to a halt as the sky crashes into the earth, bringing about the third great cataclysim.

Exoth you villan! I'll defeat you with...

1. This sword forged from Killandium! The strongest metal for killing in the world. It can even stop bullets! (Because it's so strong!)
2. This CD by the Beastie Boys!
3. This pair of delicious juicy oranges.

What do you want for christmas?

1. Money
2. Nuklear Warheads!
3. The Endo the earth!

What's the worst thing to be attacked by?

1. Robots disguised as hobbits.
2. Flying gray weasels.
3. Food.

Best MechWarrior Weapon:

1. PPC.
2. ER PPC.
3. ER PPC +20 Lighting Enchanted...mk. III!

What's cooler?

1. Peeing your pants.
2. Miles Davis.
3. ...I'm not saying it. That's just wrong.

I'/\/\ 4 1337 h4X0r5!

1. You're a looney.
2. Well, wonderful. You've *cleverly* discovered that certain numbers and symbols can create "words." Good for you. Now GIVE ME YOUR ORGANS!!!
3. I'm not commenting on this. Although I do see the irony in this, seeing as how I made a comment in saying that I wouldn't comment.

When someone has a loud cellphone conversation in a public place (like a resturant) you should...

1. Grin and bear it.
2. Steal the cellphone and call as many phone psychics as you possibly can before they catch up with you.
3. Light their hair on fire, steal their credit card and run up a huge debt, kidnap their family members, and attack their car with a chainsaw and a slegehammer.

Are you heroic?

1. Of course! Why else would I wear this cape and spandex?
2. No, I'm a supervillan with plans to steal the world's greatest monuments. Because I can.
3. No comment.

Consider the following. Pat gives sue three apples, and then sells Sue 7 more apples. He is then revealed to be "Don Patrico" the infamous Mafia apple dealer, and is arrested. Can Sue get a refund on the apples she bought?

1. Sure, she'll just have to have Pat throw the refunded money over the prison wall.
2. No, because she didn't save the recite.
3. No, but she can get 7 apples worth of store credit on her next Mafia purchase.

If a madman wielding a rubber chicken attacks you in a dark alley, what should you do?

1. Counter with a rubber ducky!
2. Flee like a coward and hope you don't run into an ocelot.
3. Cast oFish. oFish solves everything.

Peter Piper picked a pack of...

1. pickeled peppers.
2. placid puppies.
3. pockmarked phesants.

Today, on the today show, well be talking about...

1. the effects of industrialization on agrarian economies
2. hunting poodles for fun and profit.
3. some hot new celebrity who seems to believe that whatever he or she says on any number of topics cannot be anything but correct.

Pork:

1. The other white meat
2. It's made from pigs! Oink! Oink!
3. It's not as good as chicken.

When in rome...

1. Do as the romans do.
2. Be sure to check out the Vatican.
3. Leave.

Favorite element?

1. Titanium.
2. Fire.
3. Oriental food.

If a tree falls in the forest...

1. Then you should call your local park ranger.
2. It's a clear sign of lumberjack overpopulation.
3. Then a tree has fallen in the forest. It's not like anybody cares.

When you meet a cleberty, you should...

1. Have him/her sign your flesh... with a knife.
2. Throw a bottle at his head to test his toughness.
3. Run Away!

What do you burn?

1. A Witch!
2. More Witches!
3. Everything!

Somebody asks you for the time. How do you respond?

1. Tell the person the time.
2. Tell the person to buy his own watch.
3. Tell the person the time... of the apocalypse is near! Death to all ye sinners! Woe and destruction is at hand!

Wanna go burn down some rainforests?

1. No! Burning down rainforests is a sin against nature!
2. Sure, sounds like fun.
3. I'd love to, but right now I have to drain this coastal wetland and slash open that oil tanker. Then it's off to the beach for my weekly dolphin hunt.

A thousand years from now, what will this era be known as?

1. The days when boy bands walked the world.
2. The time when we weren't tortured by aliens.
3. The time when life sucked.

How?

1. How yourself fool!
2. Ah dunno.
3. Well you see, there was this gigantic leech stuck on the north wall so I called the Justice League and Dracula to come and remove it. The resulting battle, while effective in giant leech removal, attracted giant robots to our fair town. As the Justice league fought the giant robot, the leech teamed up with Dracula and started handing out democratic party brochures. They had almost gotten Genghis Kahn to sign up with them, when the giant robot was defeated, and the Justice League came back down to earth to celebrate their work. At that point Dracula and the leech could no longer contain their lust for blood, and the managed to catch the Green Lantern off guard. The Justice league managed to defeat the two bloodsuckers, but only at the loss of Green Lantern’s life. Nobody wanted to carry him back to the watchtower, so they just left his lifeless, bloodless carcass in your office, where he is right now. And that’s how it happened.