Bizarrowich

From The Encyclopedia of Pointless

Everyone loves sandwiches. Whether it's an Italian beef sub, a roasted chicken panini, or the good ol' PB&J, people love these pieces of bread with stuff between them. Virtually every culture in the world has some form of sandwiches, and more are made every day.

What? You don't like sandwiches?

Then you are an idiot and deserve to die.

Common forms of sandwiches include pitas, subs, tacos/burritos/fajitas, and Mooshoo. The origin of the term, "Sandwich" remains a mystery, and despite common eye witness reports, a witch made out of sand has never come out from a sandwich. Huh? You say you have seen a Witch of sand come from a sandwich?

Shut up, you. Or I will break off your arm.

A common filling for sandwiches in the US is peanut butter and a form of jelly. Some people replace this Jelly with Honey, and some people nix both the Honey and Jelly and just eat the peanut butter. There are some stranger fillings….You want mushrooms? Shut up. You want broccoli? What the heck is broccoli? Shut up with the broccoli. If you want something crazy like pineapple on your sandwich, I'll kill you.

To be a sandwich, at least two sides of the filling must be covered by bread. This means that beagles with toppings are not sandwiches, unless you put some form of bread on top of the topping.

If you wish to order a sandwich, I don't care, as I am not here right now. Can't you see that, idiot? But if need a sandwich later, leave a message with your name, address, phone number, serial number, how tall you are, if you're susceptible to any diseases, and if you are, maybe I'll deliver a sandwich. Or maybe I'll staple it to you.

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