Armed men in suits
From The Encyclopedia of Pointless
There is a whole compendium in the world of Armed Men in Suits. They hail back to the medieval era, and are all secretly employed by the Illuminati. Fortunately, one of our reporters happens to have a cousin who is a member of the Illuminati and so we were granted this exclusive look into the world of these men.
Contents |
The Beginning
As far back as the 13th century, the Illuminati, and various other early competing secret societies began to have a need for a certain class of enforcement. In order to sufficiently program the world for the correct rise of power, competing voices had to be silenced, those with questions had to be removed, and the inquisitive had to be eliminated. The very first Armed Men in Suits, known then only as AMS, were commissioned by the secret societies for that very purpose.
Even to the Illuminati, little is known about the original inner workings of the AMS organization. It appears that there was much infighting, and a great debate arose over who was cuter than whom. Eventually, one faction won out and subsequently forced all members of AMS to become eunuchs. That tradition continues to this day, though any member of an AMS offshoot will sternly deny it if confronted.
Early Development
The early centuries of the AMS were quite bloody. Given the rather uncontrolled governments of the day, it was relatively easy for these armed men to perform their tasks without much interference. Random murders tended to be unsolvable, and it was generally not necessary to avoid a public disturbance to carry out an order. In those days it was believed that the public display would deter questioning and dissent from the masses. This turned out to be wrong.
As the power of the Illuminati grew, so did the need for AMS. Eventually, the process was so formalized that the Illuminati used a farcical event called the Spanish Inquisition to allow AMS to remove all of its adversaries. Many were silenced.
The Quiet Era
Following the Inquisition, very little was heard from the AMS. Our Illuminati source claims that they were, at that time orchestrating a number of nasty wars in Central Asia, and so their presence in the Western World was minimal at best.
The Splintering
When it became apparent that the United States of America would take control of the world stage, the Illuminati began to move its forces into place. AMS was fractured into several branches, some public, many still secret. These organizations form the backbone of the underground military of the Illuminati. under the guise of US Government control. From the beginning of the 20th century until the present day, these groups of Armed Men in Suits have been managing the Illuminati's affairs behind the scenes.
Current Groups
According to our source, the current member branches of the AMS are:
- The Central Intelligence Agency
- The Federal Bureau of Investigation
- Men In Black
- Barnum and Bailey's Circus (Except the clowns)
- The National Security Administration
- The Secret Service
- Delta Force
- Delta Airlines Flight Attendants
The others must remain confidential for security reasons.
The Encyclopedia's Stance on the Use of Armed Men in Suits to Destroy Its Enemies
We fully condone this. Hippies, Communists, Democrats and Clowns... watch out.
